“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it
The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.
LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU
HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????
Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever
The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd
We’ve bought a new house. And our new next door neighbours (two delightful gentlemen) will not stop being nice.
- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)
- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any
- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane
- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden
- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.
Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.
Long story short - I just baked a lemon drizzle cake, and it looks great but I can’t even eat it because MR AND MR NICE MUST RECEIVE AN OFFERING.
ABSOLUTE CRISIS I GAVE THEM THE LEMON DRIZZLE AND THEN THEY INVITED ME IN TO HAVE A SLICE AND A COFFEE WITH THEM AND GAVE ME A TOUR OF THEIR HOUSE AND LET ME HOLD THEIR PUPPY. AND THEN THEY CAME AROUND TO HELP ME BAG UP THE HEDGE CLIPPINGS. THESE MEN ARE NICENESS PROS AND I CANNOT WIN.
HELPWE HAD AN HOUR LONG POWER CUT ON THE STREET AND IN THAT TIME THE OTHER MR NICE CAME AROUND WITH MATCHES AND CANDLES ‘JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY’. IT WAS BARELY DARK.
BASTARDS - I’M GOING TO HAVE TO HOST A DINNER PARTY AREN’T I?
did you guys ever notice the arm lyrics Taylor chose each night for the speak now tour tell sort of a story? knowing even better now (because of Babe) what she’s been through back then and how sad she actually was, I see it all in such a different light
the beginning of the tour, sad arm lyrics:
you’ve got every right to a beautiful life.
you gotta keep your head up but you can let your hair down.
I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone.
cinderella said to snow white ‘How did love get so off course?”.
and for one desperate moment there, he crept back in her memory.
it took a while to understand the beauty of just letting go.
I guess w’re all one phone call from our knees.
I slept in castles and fell in love because I was taught to dream.
you better lose yourself in the music
remember me in ribbons and curls. Love, your baby girl
love has a thousand faces.
I am just a dreamer but you are just a dream.
‘cause when I close my eyes I’m somewhere with you.
it’s been a long hot summer and i’m still trying to leave you alone.
we all learn to make mistakes. and run from them.
I dream of things that never were, and ask why not.
I got a good heart, I just can’t catch a break.
And the hardest part was letting go, not taking part.
and after a while there were happier / more hopeful arm lyrics:
find the Grace in the things you can’t change, and help somebody if you can.
we’re all learning to love again.
don’t worry baby, everything will turn out alright.
love actually is all around.
after all that we’ve been through, I know we’re cool.
for what it’s worth, it was worth all the while.
tell me everything you want to hear - like- that was your favorite year.
you’re just somewhere that I’ve been and I won’t go back again.
there was always something that meant more to you than me.
this one’s for the girl who love without holding back.
she’s out there on her own and she’s alright
‘cause happiness throws a shower of sparks
just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.
I feel lost again but this time for the best.
may these memories break our fall.
I can’t imagine taylor picking these lyrics because she wouldn’t relate. it’s really interesting to read and also a bit heartbreaking. but knowing eventually after being broken she got back up again and believed in love again is really inspiring.. she watched it begin again. it’s really comforting almost?
